Anxiety: identifying signs (in yourself and in kids), and ways to manage (including peptides)

I had the blessed opportunity to stay in Idaho for a week with my kids, my sister in law and her kids.  We had an experience that the kids will not soon forget, but in the quiet moments, we also all dealt with anxiety in some shape or form, so I'm taking this as an opportunity to discuss what forms that looks like, some resources, and also outline how this can be applied to kids. I am no psychologist, and input is always welcome, this is meant as a launching board, not a textbook. These are reflections, not expert opinion.

Anxiety presents when we have insecurity: in our environment, to ourselves, to our livelihood, to other things. This week, I learned how it felt to myself and to others. A nice/generalized breakdown of our initial nervous system responses are:

• Fight: You feel irritable, defensive, easily triggered

• Flight: You rush, multitask, or physically can’t slow down

• Freeze: You feel paralyzed, indecisive, or checked out

• Fawn: You over-please, suppress your own needs, and try to make everyone else feel okay.

Anxiety doesn’t always crash in.

Sometimes it tiptoes—

a held breath,

a weird feeling in your scalp,

a sudden snap you regret right after.

We’ve learned to push through.

To call it “just stress” or “being tired.”

But here’s the truth: your body is always whispering.

And if we don’t listen?

It gets louder.

It starts screaming through panic attacks, burnout, emotional shutdown, or chronic exhaustion.

As a doctor, mom, and someone who’s learned the hard way—this post is here to help you recognize anxiety before it takes over. I'll share what helped me, and some pointers from other therapists that I'm lucky to call friends.

___________

I've not been one to "suffer" from anxiety in general, but I recognize that this sensation has come up more so in the last year than it ever has, including this trip, and seeing it in my closest family members was eye-opening. The different forms in crept up in, and how helpless I felt, especially when trying to help little ones manage it (especially with my Peds background). Kids have big feelings that can be challenging to put into words that us (dumb) adults can understand! Let's break down what signs of anxiety can look like in real life, and suggestions.

1. You Can’t Sit Still

You’re doing 10 things at once, but nothing gets finished.

You’re pacing, phone-checking, fidgeting.

👶 In Kids: Bouncing, interrupting, silly behavior that feels “off.”

🛠 Try:

• For you: Shake it out. Dance it out. Move with intention.

• For them: “Let’s play spaghetti—wiggly, then freeze into stiff pasta!”

2. Your Breath Is Shallow (Or You’re Holding It)

Ever realize you’ve been holding your breath? That subtle chest tightness?

This is a nervous system SOS.

👶 In Kids: Tummy aches, “I can’t breathe right,” or just a moody slump.

🛠 Try:

• For you: Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 6. Repeat.

• For them: Blow bubbles. Pretend to blow up a balloon. Make it fun.

3. You Snap Over Nothing

You didn’t mean to yell. But the shoes on the floor? The loud noise? It set you off. This is often anxiety wearing the mask of anger.

👶 In Kids: Meltdowns, tantrums, sudden “NO!” energy.

🛠 Try:

• For you: Step away. Put hands on your heart. Name what you feel.

• For them: “Let’s stomp out that grump together!” (Add a silly face.)

4. You Can’t Stop Overthinking

You’re spiraling. Replaying the convo. Planning every worst-case scenario.

It feels like you’re solving something—but you’re stuck.

👶 In Kids: Asking the same “what if” questions. Can’t fall asleep.

🛠 Try:

• For you: Ground in your senses. Touch, smell, breath, sound.

• For them: “Let’s name 5 things we see, 4 we feel, 3 we hear…” (Make it a game.)

_________

What helped me is really just recognizing the feeling of my scalp on edge, my heart racing, my hyperawareness, and then placing myself outside of it. We are not our emotions, they are simply a flag to call our attention to the event/stimulus. We have the ability to gain control of our reaction to the flag. We may fail a couple times (many times in fact), but the game of learning how to react ultimately gives us power and agency of our reality.

Mini Ritual: “Pause, Place, Power”:

This is nervous system repair meets self-devotion.

That feeling arises: fleeing, frozen, or hair on edge.

Step 1: Pause  

This interrupts the autopilot response (anger or retreat)

Say to yourself (aloud or silently): “This is a moment of activation. I get to choose how I respond.”

Take one slow, audible breath.

Let the exhale be longer than the inhale.

Put one hand over your heart or womb—wherever you feel the emotion rising.

⸻

📍 Step 2: Place the Feeling

🎯 This helps shift from overwhelm to awareness

Ask:

• Where in my body is this showing up?

• Is it hot, tight, heavy, electric?

• What does it want me to believe right now?

Then say:

“I feel ____, but I am not my feeling.

I can hold it without becoming it.”

You’re now in observer mode, not reaction mode.

⸻

🔥 Step 3: Power Phrase

🗣️ This replaces the old instinct with a new truth

Choose or create a power phrase to say aloud or whisper. Examples:

• “I am safe even when I’m uncertain.”

• “I am chosen—by me, always.”

• “I don’t have to perform or disappear to be worthy.”

• “I get to return to love, not abandon myself.”

If you feel the need, move your body: shake out your hands, roll your shoulders, plant your feet—let the energy move.

⸻

The role of exercise--

Anxiety can also make you feel isolated and depressed and lower your self-worth, says Sarah Bolor, a licensed therapist and clinical director at SayIt Mental Health

Exercise, especially in a social setting, can be a way to manage anxiety. "These consistent, low-pressure exchanges can steadily increase your comfort with others", says Bolor.

"Sticking to your fitness regimen can also encourage self-discipline and gently desensitize you to certain social settings, both of which further appease anxiety," adds Bolor.

"Not every workout will be perfect, and some days will feel more challenging than others. It’s important to practice grace and self-compassion on those less-than-ideal days as you develop a routine to mitigate your social anxiety," according to Bolor.

The science is supporting what we've known for a long time-- which is regular physical activity, especially those that stress our bodies, actually help our mental health:

Absolutely! Here’s a simplified, engaging version of that info—perfect for a blog or social caption. It reads like a conversation with your reader and keeps the science digestible:

💪 Your Muscles Make Antidepressants (Really)

We think of muscles as the things that help us move, lift, sweat, and get strong.

But here’s the wild part: your skeletal muscles also act like tiny pharmacies—releasing natural chemicals that boost your mood.

Every time you work out (especially strength training or cardio that gets your heart rate up), your muscles send feel-good signals to your brain. Here’s how:

Irisin: The Brain Booster

This is released when you exercise. It helps increase something called BDNF—which acts like fertilizer for your brain.

🧠 Result? Better mood, memory, and mental clarity.

BDNF: Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor

Think of this like Miracle-Gro for your neurons.

More BDNF = less depression, less anxiety, and more emotional resilience.

And yes, working out helps your brain make more of it.

Lactate: Not Just a Burn, It’s a Brain Signal

That burning feeling in your muscles during a hard workout? That’s lactate.

It travels to your brain and actually helps calm down anxiety and lift your mood.

Myokines: Muscle Messages That Lower Inflammation

Your muscles release these little proteins that cool inflammation—which is often behind brain fog, low mood, and stress.

Think of them as your body’s natural anti-inflammatory crew.

PGC-1α1: The Brain Protector

This one’s released mostly during cardio. It helps block stress chemicals from building up in your brain.

It’s like a shield against depression—powered by your own movement.

✨ So yes—movement really is medicine.

When you lift weights, take a walk, or get a workout in, your body isn’t just getting stronger.

It’s creating natural antidepressants, rewiring your brain, and literally building resilience from the inside out.

Even 20 minutes a day makes a difference.

And if you’re guiding your kids into movement too—you’re teaching them how to regulate their moods, focus better, and feel safer in their bodies.

____

🧠 Peptides for Anxiety:

What is Selank (and how can it help you feel calm without numbing out)?

If you’ve been looking for a way to manage anxiety without the fog of traditional meds, peptides might just be the upgrade your nervous system has been waiting for.

Selank: The “Calm Focus” Peptide

What it is: A synthetic peptide based on a natural protein your body makes (tuftsin)

How it’s used: Nasal spray (fast-acting + non-invasive)

What it does:

• Reduces anxiety without sedation

• Improves mental clarity and focus

• Supports your body’s response to stress

• Increases serotonin and balances GABA/glutamate levels

• Modulates inflammation in the brain

💡 Think of Selank as a calming blanket for your nervous system—without making you feel drowsy or disconnected.

🧪 Bonus: It’s been studied in Russia for decades and is shown to work well in high-pressure, high-performance environments.

🧘‍♀️ Other Peptides That Support Mood & Calm

Semax. (often paired with Selank)

• Also delivered nasally

• Supports focus, memory, and stress resilience

• Great for brain fog, burnout, or ADHD-like symptoms

• Increases BDNF (just like exercise does!)

💡 Selank = calm | Semax = focus. Together? Balance.

DHH-B (Dihydrohonokiol-B)

• Oral or injectable peptide

• Derived from magnolia bark (a natural anxiolytic)

• Works on GABA-A receptors (same as benzos, but without sedation or dependency)

• Helps with panic, sleep, and racing thoughts

• Interes

💡 For people who feel “on edge” all the time—this takes the volume down gently.

Oxytocin (yes, that oxytocin)

• Intranasal delivery

• Enhances feelings of trust, connection, and emotional bonding

• Can help ease social anxiety, postpartum overwhelm, or trauma-related triggers

💡 Used carefully, it’s like emotional scaffolding while you heal.

✨ Final Takeaway:

Peptides don’t shut you down.

They help your system find its rhythm again.

Whether it’s a nasal spray like Selank or Semax, or deeper-acting options like DHH-B or oxytocin, the goal isn’t to numb you—it’s to bring your body back into balance.